mine
Lately, I figured out that I really love to eat jelly, especially sour jelly. And zero coke brings out the best in the jelly, so I love to have their combination. I had been thought about why I like it, I got an answer. Since I’ve been living alone, it’s really hard to eat fruits. And I think sour jelly could replace their taste. But I know it’s really not good for my health, so I tired to cut down thesedays. Please cross your finger for me to go on a diet.
Lately, I realized that I really love eating jelly, especially sour ones. And zero coke pairs perfectly with jelly, so I love having them together. I’ve thought about why I like it so much, and I think I’ve figured it out. Since I’ve been living alone, it’s been hard to eat fresh fruits, and I think sour jelly is my way of replacing that fruity taste. But I know it’s not great for my health, so I’ve been trying to cut back lately. Please keep your fingers crossed for me to stick to my diet!
피드백:
1. 문법 및 표현 수정:
- “I figured out that I really love to eat jelly” → “I realized that I really love eating jelly”: “figured out”보다는 “realized”가 감정을 깨닫는 상황에 더 적합하고, “eating”은 “to eat”보다 자연스럽게 들려.
- “zero coke brings out the best in the jelly” → “zero coke pairs perfectly with jelly”: “bring out the best in”은 약간 과장된 느낌이 있어서, “pairs perfectly with”로 수정했어.
- “I had been thought about why I like it, I got an answer” → “I’ve thought about why I like it so much, and I think I’ve figured it out”: 과거 완료형보다는 현재완료형이 더 적절하고, 문장 구조를 부드럽게 수정했어.
- “And I think sour jelly could replace their taste” → “and I think sour jelly is my way of replacing that fruity taste”: “their taste”는 조금 애매하므로, “fruity taste”로 구체화했어.
- “so I tired to cut down thesedays” → “so I’ve been trying to cut back lately”: “these days” 대신 “lately”가 더 자연스럽고, “cut back”은 소비를 줄일 때 흔히 쓰이는 표현이야.
2. 문장 구조 개선:
- 전체적으로 문장을 더 자연스럽게 연결하고 문법을 다듬었어. 예를 들어, “Since I’ve been living alone, it’s really hard to eat fruits. And I think sour jelly could replace their taste.” 부분을 더 부드럽게 연결했어.
- 마지막 문장에서 “Please cross your finger for me to go on a diet”를 “Please keep your fingers crossed for me to stick to my diet!“로 수정했어. “cross your finger”보다는 복수형이 맞고, “stick to my diet”가 더 구어체 표현이야.
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